closefriend

DeAr, FrIends! i wanna sHaRe mY fEElIng. i'Ve cLosefRieNd, his name is... Jessiano. He's from South Africa. But not only hi, I also have others closefriend, their name are: Angelique, Keenan, Jefferson, Jaylin and Ntombi. They all are from South Africa. They have a lot of same, nice, ridiculous, friendly but the difference of Jessiano with other my friends, he's the first boy who release his love to me (maybe the last). But I don't love him. Let you guess! You know friends, why I refuse him? I felt confuse that time. Yeah, he’s fine and love me as his future wife (he said to me! Swear! But I think it just bullshit). He’s long enough be my chatmate and I consider him just friend like Angelique, Keenan, Jefferson (Angelique’s boyfriend). Perhaps I like him, but I doubt I love him. No, NO! it’s too early to love someone who never face to face with us, right? Besides, I’m not ready yet able walk my day with sad, cry just because of broken heart. My junior high scool friend, just broke up with her ex-boyfriend. Early, when I arrived in the school I couldn’t find my classmates, I think they all still in their house. From house, I planned to cheat my friend because I couldn’t do my English homework. Almost every class still closed. I saw my friend who I met yesterday dating with her boyfriend, walked to her class and I interested to mock her. Then, I begin to mock her. But I was very shock when I mock her, suddenly she cry aloud. I feel so guilty and I said sorry to her. Without asking, she told me that she just broke up. She cry aloud. Then, I looked at her eyes, I couldn’t say a word! I never court and of course I never brake up. Yesterday and the days before it happen, sometimes I cried because nobody love me (except JC).you know, no boy (Indonesian people) ask me to be his girlfriend. And I cry my self. Am I too ugly? Am I too stupid? Like that, several questions stay in my mind. But, after know that broken heart is so bad, I give thanks to God. I believe, He give me the best in my life. The day before, I guess that being single is shame and horrible but now I realize that cry because of broken heart is more loud than cry because of single forever. Like me! You know, I’m not willing promotion ‘bout Oppie .A’s song, but I just tell my experience(never court). You know, when I tears because of single, I never tears until I go to school, but my friend did it. Yeah, I never feel what the sense of broken heart, so I can’t make her smile as usual. I only said, “You can trust me to save your secret safely.” A sentence which always I say if somebody tells about her secret. I can’t give her diamond words as wise woman, ‘cause I never brake up. Formerly, I force my self to hold a boyfriend. It shame if I don’t have a boyfriend. But, ‘till the end of Junior High School nobody ask me to be his girlfriend (again: except JC). Then, I realize that over force self to get something isn’t good to my physic and mental. So, I try make promise so that i’ll never force my self anymore. Now, I just wanna walk my day ordinarily, go with the flow (says Cinta Laura). Haha… Thus, What about you? Do you in an opinion with me?